alevo, Astute Political Commentator, giving the Prime Minister some words of encouragement.

I just got a phone call from someone who claimed to be conducting a survey for a mumbled organization called “International Respiratory”. I had to ask him twice to repeat the name. I think the whole point was to figure out if they could sell an air filter, dehumidifier, or duct cleaning to us. After the bit about what organization he was calling from, the conversation went something like this:

HIM: Do you or anyone in your household have breathing problems?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any pets?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any dampness or mildew in your basement?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any problems with dust in the house?
ME: No.
HIM: Okay sir, it’s standard that we ask you your occupation, we don’t want to know where you work of course, but what do you do?
ME: I’m a duct installer.
HIM: What? A dog installer?
ME: No, a duct installer, I install ducts – you know, ventilation systems.
HIM: Okay sir, thank you for your time.

Goodbye.

Courtesy of a US Army survival manual, here’s how you can test to see if a plant is edible if you are lost in the wilderness:

I haven’t written much this week, because I’ve been busy building a website. This site was a real rush job, my fellow developer and I went from zero to completely done in three days of coffee-fueled coding and design madness. But the results are quite attractive (we think), as you can see by visiting it here:

http://www.foodflirt.ca/

I don’t normally create websites but that seems to be changing. Interestingly enough the site is built using the same software (WordPress) that runs this blog. I’d love to hear what you think and if you like that kind of classy, minimalist style. The business this is for is also really cool, though I don’t recommend visiting the site if you are really hungry – doing so tends to make my mouth water and my stomach growl.

Anyway, enough about me, time to get back to our favourite American president, George W. Bush. This was sent to me today:

———

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got three people here who aeren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”

George thinks that sounds pretty good, so he agrees.

The devil opens the first room. In it is Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He keeps diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such is his fate in hell.

“No!” George says. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil leads him to the next room. In it is Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he does is swing that hammer, time after time after time.

“No! I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!” yelps George.

The devil opens a third door. In it, George sees Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looks at this in disbelief for a while and finally says, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

The devil smiles and says, “Monica, you’re free to go!”

I have been following the post-Katrina coverage very closely. I’m completely and utterly furious, disgusted, appalled. It’s unbelievable what is happening there right now. This disaster did not have to be like this. And there are some ugly conclusions to be drawn about what’s happening right now – I don’t know if you’ve noticed but New Orleans right now is almost all black people – people who are suffering and not getting help – people who are increasingly desperate, sick, dying, rotting. Most of the white people, it seems, were able to leave. And now the black people are left to die.

Perhaps that seems harsh. But it’s hard not to come to that conclusion. I have seen some white people suffering in the city. But most of the white people I have seen are being loaded into ambulances, or surveying their property, or receiving supplies, or even eating a nice breakfast of coffee, waffles and eggs. The communities on the coast where the white people were took a serious blow and many died, yes…

But a much different situation has unfolded in New Orleans, the city that has long known of its dangers, the city whose newspapers warned was vulnerable, the city that had a plan to make itself safer but whose funding was cut off in 2003 by the federal government. The Iraq war was more important than making New Orleans safe. And maybe the authorities knew the white people and the people with money – in New Orleans, apparently, that’s pretty much the same thing – could leave.

The social and political consequences of this will be profound. If a white middle-class Canadian like me is thinking this way, think about how the poor and the people of colour in America are feeling right now. Think about how the people of New Orleans are feeling. As though they have been abandoned. As though the already flimsy shroud that covered the ugly side of America has just dropped away. As though people care more about the tsunami victims than them.

I urge you to watch this video, or if you’re unable to because your Internet is slow, read the transcript. Both are available here. The video is a bit long but it’s worth it. You need to hear what this photojournalist had to say. What follows is a brief snippet of the beginning of the transcript:

ALISON STEWART: Tony, I know you’ve seen a lot of things in your career, but have you ever seen anything like that?

TONY ZUMBADO: I’ve gotta tell you, I thought I’d seen it all, but just when you think you’ve seen it all, you go into another situation and you see something horrific. I’ve never seen anything in my life like this. … I can’t put it into words the amount of destruction that is in this city and how these people are coping. They are just left behind. There is nothing offered to them. No water, no ice, no C-rations, nothing, for the last four days.

They were told to go to the convention center. They did, they’ve been behaving. It’s unbelievable how organized they are, how supportive they are of each other. They have not started any mêlées, any riots … they just want food and support. And what I saw there I’ve never seen in this country.

We need to really look at this situation at the convention center. It’s getting very very crazy in there and very dangerous. Somebody needs to come down with a lot of food and a lot of water. There’s no hostility there … they need support. These people are very desperate. I saw two gentlemen die in front of me because of dehydration. I saw a baby near death.