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They Say It’s a Survey

I just got a phone call from someone who claimed to be conducting a survey for a mumbled organization called “International Respiratory”. I had to ask him twice to repeat the name. I think the whole point was to figure out if they could sell an air filter, dehumidifier, or duct cleaning to us. After the bit about what organization he was calling from, the conversation went something like this:

HIM: Do you or anyone in your household have breathing problems?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any pets?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any dampness or mildew in your basement?
ME: No.
HIM: Do you have any problems with dust in the house?
ME: No.
HIM: Okay sir, it’s standard that we ask you your occupation, we don’t want to know where you work of course, but what do you do?
ME: I’m a duct installer.
HIM: What? A dog installer?
ME: No, a duct installer, I install ducts – you know, ventilation systems.
HIM: Okay sir, thank you for your time.

Goodbye.

6 Responses to “They Say It’s a Survey”
  1. wemi:

    That’s funny! It reminds me of a time I was at my mom and stepdad’s (Ange and Denise). I received a similar call, it went something like this:

    Her: Can I speak with A or D Restivo?
    Me: A or D Restivo?
    Her:Yes, A or D Restivo.
    Me: I’m sorry, A and D went out with B and C and they won’t be home till later.
    Her: Okay, thank you for your time.

  2. nicole:

    Ah, telemarketing.

    When they call us here at home Jon always engages in a conversation with them about how much their job sucks. He figures if they call and annoy us, why not annoy them back. On the other hand, he’s also brightened their day and got a few chuckles…even if they didn’t make a sale.

    What a way to put food on the table.

  3. alevo:

    I ask them to hold on, then I carry about my business while they sit on the phone waiting for a person who is never coming back. That truely wastes their time. Although, most of them hang up within a few minutes. One guy waited, listening to me and Claire cook dinner, for like five minutes. What a tool.


  4. Tell them that you do not accept phone solicitation. By law, they are required to get out of the call, without any further rebuttal. They will also remove you from their calling list.

    Honestly, I know that telemarketers can be annoying, but they are just doing their job. Barking at them makes no real difference, it only makes that person feel worse about a job they already dislike. My mother worked as a telemarketer, not because she wanted to, but because she had to help bring money in, because our family did not have the money to educate her (I and my brother were going to post-secondary schools), and because her skills were not “up to date” in her past career field. No one else would hire her. She has had to put up with some awful stuff, including a man jerking off while talking to her because he “liked her voice”.

    Telemarketers don’t like their job any more than you like their job. If you really dislike the trade, then you can petition your local counsellor to make changes through the government, to put an end to telemarketing. But honestly, putting the caller through stupid stunts is not very productive for anyone. At least they are doing something rather than collecting EI.

  5. alevo:

    Iliafer’s right. We may disagree with a culture of consumerism so virulent and pervasive that it chases us into our private homes, but we must be productive. The telemarketing call centre is a new low in the employment standards limbo. It’s being confronted on numerous fronts, perhaps not actively enough. If you own a phone, and you want to take a stand, you can also do the following:

    -You can register to have your telephone number(s) removed from marketing lists by mailing your request to the Canadian Marketing Association (CMA), P.O. Box 706, Don Mills, Ontario M3C 2T6, or faxing it to (416) 441-4062 or by completing the registration form at http://www.the-cma.org . Not all telemarketers are members of the CMA so this will not eliminate all unsolicited telemarketing calls. Make sure you indicate your first and last names as well as your complete address and all telephone numbers, including any Ident-A-Call numbers. This free service is valid for three years and applies to telemarketing calls received by mail, telephone and fax.

    -You might also wish to consult the front pages of your local telephone directory under Privacy Issues to see what you can do to have your name removed from any directories made available by your local telephone company to publishers of independent paper and electronic directories, including the Canada 411 Internet directory. You might also want to contact your local telephone company directly to be removed from its telemarketing lists.

    -Visit the CRTC website for more information about the regulations placed on telemarketers (this is where I took the tidbits from above)

    -Follow the recent federal bill C-37, which is currently in committee stage, that calls for the creation of a national “do not call” registry. Once in place, this would give Canadians a comprehensive version of the CMA list. We will likely see this in place by Christmas this year. For more information click here.

  6. Ade:

    I just had my most succinct telemarketing experience ever and I think it’s what I’m going to do from now on.

    A woman named Patricia called me from Direct Energy (man those folks are persistent). I immediately threw her off-script by asking how she was doing and a couple of other friendly comments, then when she got into the script I said “Look Patricia, I don’t want to waste your time – I’m going to say no”. She thanked me and hung up.

    Done. I come off as friendly and polite and avoid the long-winded script. I warn I’m going to say no at the very beginning, if they insist on going through the script, they can’t be surprised when I say no at the end.