A revolution in genital cleansing
I went to Hamilton’s It’s Your Festival in Gage Park on the weekend.
We were strolling down a grassy laneway between rows of tents set up to peddle various wares when a fluttering red banner caught my eye: The Revolution Starts Here.
The tent with this banner was deserted. But there were two toilets sitting out front.
I’m not accustomed to seeing toilets outside of washroom facilities at festivals, so I decided to take a closer look. There was a brochure taped to the top edge of the tent. I held it down so I could take a photo.
Here’s a closeup of the device, the NEW FB-3:
The brochure explains its features in detail:
The woman in the brightly-coloured tent next door was selling children’s toys. I started to realize why she looked so irritated.
[tags]humour[/tags]
July 5th, 2006 at 7:00 am
The only toilet seat that can sexually assault houseguests if they press the wrong button when they’re on the can.
July 5th, 2006 at 8:19 am
My first thought was, why wouldn’t you just have a shower?
July 7th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
The anus and genital cleansing devise appears to me to be an excuse to materbate. Uh, just do it then people. You don’t need to hide it with a fancy shmancy toilet seat!!!
I’d be so emberassed to have this in my washroom!!!!!
July 10th, 2006 at 8:59 am
I have been cleaning my anus for years with toilet paper. While the experience is primative in comparison to jet-sprayed water cleansing, it has not garnered me the distinction of elitist or masturbator. That said, I would welcome a gentle genital massage, and endure any labels that apply.
July 13th, 2006 at 10:34 am
There are cultures in this world who use their left hand and a canister filled with water to clean their anus. They then hold the canister above there lower back (with their right hand, as culturally for these cultures this is considered the ‘clean’ hand) and they let the water trickle where the butt checks splits. As the water trickes down, the left hand is used in a gentle up and down motion to clean the area in question (the anus). Sounds grosser than it is. You’d be suprised how, say a large yoghurt container filled with water can give that tingly clean filling. At any rate, you would be washing your hands with soap and water after going to the toilet anyways. Right?
July 13th, 2006 at 10:41 am
Sounds fascinating. But does this require a trough of some kind to accomplish properly, to catch the water that’s dribbling down? If I am at someone else’s house, could I perhaps do this in their bathtub?
July 13th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Fuck the water. I just grab the hand towel and wipe.