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I Have Friends That Are _______

This morning I replied to a post on another blog discussing whether or not native Canadians will be likely to vote Conservative. This sparked another comment which said in part:

But it’s time the native people of Canada joined the rest of Canada and made their mark. The Indians I know are a proud people. But they are so stuck in the Indian Affairs mindset that they find it difficult to break free.

The author of that comment finished off by saying “As always, when I speak on this subject, I should say that I am of Anishinabe Ojibway ancestry.”

When someone says something they think might be offensive, this is a classic defence. It’s the old “I have friends that are black/gay/handicapped/whatever” ploy. Here it’s especially effective because the author doesn’t just have friends that are native, he is native.

I’m not saying that the comment quoted above is offensive or racist, just that the author was clearly pre-empting that kind of accusation. The reason I’m writing this is because it reminds me of something I’m not particularly proud of, or comfortable with, but will share with you anyway.

I was waiting at a stoplight a few weeks ago and two black guys in complete hip-hop-inspired clothing came strolling by. “Couple of niggas”, I thought.

I was shocked. I had offended myself. “Am I a racist?” I thought. “Where did that thought come from?”

The n-word was never, ever used in my home growing up. I was as likely to use the f-word around my parents and I never have. And it’s not a word I use in conversation, either. So why’d it pop into my head?

I don’t want to point fingers but the only people I ever hear the n-word from are black people on television, in movies, and in music. I probably don’t have to prove this point, but here’s an example anyway: the song “Down 4 My Niggas” by Snoop Dogg contains the word “nigga” 55 times.

In the movie Coach Carter there is one part that stuck out for me even though the rest of the movie sucks. Samuel Jackson, who plays the coach of an inner-city high school basketball team that is mostly black, takes the team members to task in the locker room one day. He says something along the lines of:

The word “nigger” was a derogatory term used by the white man to denigrate our ancestors in the days of slavery. It is not okay to say that word. When you do, you are teaching the white man to say it. You are telling him it is okay.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when I had that thought, it was when I saw youth dressed hip-hop. It’s an easy mental association. To use the artist I just mentioned, hip-hop = Snoop = “nigga”, 55 times in one song.

This bothers me. I feel mentally contaminated, the same way people must feel when they convert to Christianity but still blaspheme every time they stub their toe. I don’t want to think the n-word, let alone use it.

I accept that there is certain language I should not use for cultural reasons – because I’m not part of the group – but it does get awfully confusing, especially when you’re bombarded by certain words. The n-word is one example, but there’s no shortage of others. Search for “fag” on Google and the fourth result is www.whatafag.com, a website for “kind, well-behaved homosexuals”.

When used without malice, does any word have the power to hurt? Do we dismiss the people who campaign against some language, like Samuel Jackson’s coach, as too easily offended? Or are they right, that some words carry a weight of hatred and prejudice that means they should never be used?

Personally, I try to never use questionable words until I know someone well enough, and they know me well enough, that I know they won’t be offended. But it’s hard to censor your own thoughts.

9 Responses to “I Have Friends That Are _______”
  1. alevo:

    You must be seriously white. Cracka. No seriously… I’m white too…and I have white friends.

    The rhetorical and symbolic themes embedded in the words that you find offensive are as much a product of your own internal perception as they are a shared social perspective. You find particular connotations with these words offensive mainly because your value set requires that you do so. But that is still only part of how we should decode racialized terminology. In the case of the two youths, you should probably be more astonished by your limited understanding of black culture than for being racist. I don’t imagine you support racist activity in your day-to-day life. But you do attribute your experience of the word nigger to black people expressing themselves in mainstream cultural contexts – movies, music, television. Further, you call that experience mental contamination. That is a rather passive assertion of how you experience the world around you; nor do I think its the repetitive use of the word that causes it to be top-of-mind when you see two dapper young homies crossing the street.

    There are a great number of shared opinions about the word nigger, or Indian, or fag. However, the politicization of the words – their use to demonstrate historical or modern truths, power structures, or biases – is an ongoing symbolic contest, not a once for all battle. It is not possible to come up with a definitive association for the words in question. What do you think of when you see anyone crossing the street – a woman (a slut), a vagrant (a bum), an asian (a chink) – are there causal, or fundamental truths found in any of these terms. Not in a univerally shared sense. Why did I chose the terms I did here? Are they the most offensive I could come up with? Or are they those terms acceptabley offensive for print, and to drive home my point? That’s up to you.

    The words gain meaning in whatever prevailing social/personal context they are deployed – their meaning is shaped by the given time & place they occur. I’m not saying the words are empty vessels, but rather that their consumption is different depending on the audience. As you say: “I try to never use questionable words until I know someone well enough, and they know me well enough, that I know they won’t be offended.” You were your own audience at the time you chose the word nigger. Don’t you know yourself?

    If, as I have argued, people use and interpret these words to suit their own experience, you should look critically at your own experiences with blackness to understand why you were offended, if indeed you really were. You are not complicit in the racialization of the world around you. Nor are you a passive recipient of Snoop Dogg’s quirky brand of urban poetry. We all choose to reify or deny racial (and other) stereotypes. We do so in our language, or relationships, or actions, our thoughts.

  2. nicoleb:

    Great blog entry Ade. I’m going to try and say something intelligent – although it’s hard on this blog with so many confident and smart entries such as yours and alevos. In my 4th year I did my placement at a radical agency where I was the only straight, white, able-bodied woman there. I had an amazing teacher and mentor that I respect immensely. I subscribe to what she and some other woman of colour feminists suggest.

    Growing up being a privileged white person in society we have been brought up with racist thoughts simply by being a part of our culture and society. Racist ideals by white people need to be ‘unlearned’ and we need to educate ourselves in the history of the oppressions that other groups face. (not only black history but other cultures and communities too) White people can be offended by this as no one wants to admit that they can have racist ideals. But we do, and we need to always work on challanging ourselves.

    One school of thought with regards to the ‘n’ word is rooted in reclaiming power for that race. Many black communities also feel that the ‘n’ word is not reclaiming at all but fosters internalized racism as the black race itself is widely regarded as inferior in history. How can you try and reclaim a word that started off as an insult? Can it ever be said without malice?

    To me, it’s not the intentions of the word, it’s the impact it could have on others and the impact it’s had in history. (I think you were sitting with me the other night when I repeated the title of an article in my magazine and I may have offended another party guest – so it was my bad and I need to admit that.) The hip-hop artists who use/abuse this word are subject to criticism and acceptance within their own race as well –so in my opinion, no, Samuel Jackson is not “sensitive.” I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic, but I have my opinion and what my mentor has taught me.

    Thanks for writing about such an important topic. I admire you for challenging your possible racist thoughts and ideals and for having the guts to write about it.

  3. Ade:

    “[Y]ou should probably be more astonished by your limited understanding of black culture than for being racist”.

    I accept that I have a limited understanding of black culture. I’ve read the biographies of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King and the autobiography of Nelson Mandela. I’ve read books on the civil rights movement and the history of slavery. Among the black people I’ve known personally I would count two among my friends, one a guy I worked with for a couple of years and a girl I lived with for a year-and-a-half.

    But you’re right – I have a limited understanding of black culture. Who doesn’t, that isn’t black? And when you say black culture, what do you mean? Does black culture have anything to do with blackness – that is, skin colour – at all?

    Take the girl I used to live with. She knew a little more about black issues than I did, sure. But we both had mostly white friends, listened to the same music, enjoyed the same books, entertainment and food – this pointless list could go on and on. As far as I can tell, she was not much more immersed in “black culture” than I am.

    I recall a recent story about a black woman running for government as a Republican in the US. She was pelted with oreo cookies at rallies by her fellow African-Americans. Their message, if I have to spell it out, is that she is black on the outside and white on the inside. To some, you can’t be black and Republican. My “value set” tells me to reject that thinking. But as you asked, is there a “causal, or fundamental truth” lurking here or not?

    Not in a “univerally shared sense”, no, but is it enough of a “shared social perspective” among black people that it could be said she is not part of black culture? What about the girl I lived with?

    This discussion is particularly relevant right now with all the gun violence in Toronto. Based on what I’ve read, many people are viewing this as a problem with black culture. Again, my value set makes me reject this accusation. I think this is less a culture of blackness and more a culture of criminality, one that is rooted in deeper social issues, but many prominent black entertainers – 50 Cent comes to mind – seem to revel in making a connection between the two. Does 50 Cent matter, though? Does he speak for anyone? Artists are often touted as representatives and creators of culture. What culture, in his case?

  4. Ade:

    Thanks Nicole – I just responded to alevo’s post and my head hurts so I need to take a break. I will respond properly when my headache goes away or tomorrow, whichever comes first. But for those who are curious, the article Nicole mentions was about a service created by a black woman called Rent a Negro.

    Her intent, to sum it up as briefly as possible, is to challenge. Check out the website here.

  5. alevo:

    Let me make two clarifications.

    First, I wasn’t being critical of you in saying that you have a limited experience of black culture. Truth be told, that statement could be applied to a great number of people, black or white. This was a suggestion. I could have better illustrated my point by saying that of the possible interpretations of the word nigger, you chose one of abhorence and racial intolerance; you justified that interpretation based on your experience of a particular cultural milieu that you associate with the racial identity of blackness. You didn’t call Snoop Dogg a poet or an artist, he was first and foremost ‘a black person.’ My point was not made based on your understanding of ‘black issues’ or any set definition of ‘black culture.’ I was implicating you in the creation of your definition of the word nigger.

    Second, I did not intend to describe black culture as a whole, or complete cannon – one that could be set within boundaries – something that was easily agreed to exist. Rather, when I say black culture, I mean the many perspectives and expressions of being black in various societies and settings. This includes the creation of cultural products, but also the internal experiences and relationships that come from a historic and contemporary, racialized identity. I wouldn’t expect a black person to have a complete understanding of the various contemporary experiences of being black. No more than I understand the wealth of experiences faced by people who are identified variously as white. The culture, as I describe it, is comprised of many perspectives, and not all of them are associated with oppression. There is empowerment in racial identity too. That was the fact I was calling you to task on. You own your interpretation of the word nigger – not society at large – and certainly not the black people around you, including Snoop.

    One stream of thought on the use of the word nigger is the one that often emminates from hip-hop culture. This particular perspective on blackness, echoes some of the details added to this discussion by nicoleb. Namely, that black people could co-opt the term nigger, and employ in an empowering sense – denying the oppresive connotations associated with it’s creation to others. It was a conscious attempt by a cultural group to re-appropriate a term that had been directed at describing them. After all, if there is power in language, then there is also self-determination in language. It is difficult, from my vantage point, to assess whether or not the appropriation was successful/empowering in every instance. There is some great work on the racial experience of black people in western (American) culture by Robin D.G. Kelley. I suggest that as a starting point if you want to read more: http://aaas.fas.harvard.edu/faculty/other_faculty/robin_kelley.html

    I particularily like his contribution to Stephen Duncombe’s “Cultural Resistance Reader”, entitled “OGs in Postindustiral Los Angeles”, taken from his book “Race Rebels.” http://www.versobooks.com/books/cdef/d-titles/duncombe_cultural_resist.shtml

    I will bring the book to work at lunch and throw down some quotes for you.

  6. Ade:

    I’m looking forward to it – unfortunately I have meetings to get to but I look forward to continuing this fascinating discussion later.


  7. Ade wrote, “I think this is less a culture of blackness and more a culture of criminality, one that is rooted in deeper social issues.”

    Linda McQuaig had a great take on this in a recent column:

    Ten years ago, Mike Harris slashed Ontario’s welfare rates by 22 per cent, thereby cutting by almost one-quarter the incomes of Ontario’s most vulnerable families.

    The young kids in those vulnerable families are now teenagers. Recently, there’s been an upsurge in violent crime by gangs of teenagers. Is it far-fetched to think there might be a connection?

    Worth reading in full.

  8. Ade:

    She makes a good point here too:

    Of course, during the Depression, people suffered great poverty without turning to crime. But back then poverty was the norm. Today’s poor live amid general affluence, giving them a dangerous sense of exclusion from the mainstream.

    Individuals, like the criminals roaming Toronto’s streets, are accountable for their own personal actions. When these actions are illegal, justice applies penalties. But when you look at society as a whole, you see trends – groups of individuals behaving in similar ways. These are where social policies are effective.

    I’ve seen many people calling for more justice, but far fewer calling for a change in social policies. After all, if harsh punishments cut down on crime, why doesn’t the US, with the world’s fourth-highest rate of capital punishment, have lower murder rates?

  9. Ade:

    Now, to respond to nicoleb and alevo’s last entries. Nicole, when you say the important thing about a word is “the impact it could have on others” you’re right inline with alevo when he says of the possible interpretations of the n-word, I “chose one of abhorence and racial intolerance”.

    Again, it’s true that there are other ways of understanding the word, although as a white person I sense that the number of ways I can use the word are probably more limited than the ways in which a black person can use the word, at least from the perspective of most black people.

    One thing I think we’re missing here is a black perspective, so I went looking for one. I joined the Cocoa Lounge, a self-described “African American Forum” to see what I could find that would change that. I found a thread called “Nigger – term of endearment or outright wrong?”. Here are some of the responses.

    (Note that many posters were either censored or self-censored to remove the letter g in the word “nigger” or its variations, I have put the g back in to avoid confusion. I’ve also made some slight edits for clarity and brevity. Also note that although these are likely the opinions of black people, since it’s an online forum there is no way to know for sure.)

    soulitude78:

    How do you guys feel about [the term nigger]? I have often heard from some black people that this is a term of endearment. Do you agree? I don’t think it is. It was used as a identifying factor to oppress us and make fun of our skin color. Yet we embrace it with open arms in lyrics, movies and in general conversation with each other. It is a historic word, but why are black people adopting this word as their own. Is this a reflection of our own self hatred?

    Diamond:

    I don’t like it and I don’t let anyone call me that even in “jokey jokin’ around…

    Waterboxer:

    Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Remember that. Niggas are too sensitive. Furthermore the word has been used as a term of endearment and also as a derogatory term. During the 60’s and 70’s it was used heavily and I think we were a much stronger and progressive people then.

    Mr.3000 (to Waterboxer):

    SELL OUT….SELL OUT….SELL OUT….SELL OUT

    Did Massah teach you to say this?

    Soul Cry (to Waterboxer):

    I somewhat agree. Before moving to the states, the word nigger was used in my house as a term of disorderly, un’lady’like, uncouth conduct. But when moving to Cali, EVERYBODY used nigger as a term of endearment…so much that it became easy to use as well for me.

    Now back in Canada, I don’t use it as much, although I will use it in it’s intended use if someone chooses to act like a nigger.

    Now…I can understand the concept that one can not be insulted by a word that they have taken the power from. One can not be insulted by the obvious difference in use.

    Either way, there are niggas, niggers, and black folks. My suggestion, read the book Nigger for more insight on the topic.

    soulitude78 (to Soul Cry):

    How does one act like a nigger??? Again that philosophy has been used to divide us as people. How often do you hear someone say, I kick it with my black people, but I hate me some niggers?? That is silly, we are different, all have issues, but no one is better than another.

    Big Mike:

    I use the word sometimes. I think we can go without it but I don’t get sensitive when I hear its use. I’ve heard Black people use that word almost everyday of my life so it was an accepted word in my household.

    I agree with Diamond that others may not use white peoples’ derogatory words as terms of endearment but they also don’t sit around worrying about those words either. I just think we worry and stress the wrong things most of the time. It’s not that important in my opinion.

    Soul Cry:

    One would say there is a extreme difference between the word niggER and niggA…matter of opinion. And that matter of opinion makes the dfference.

    honeybaby:

    I do not consider it to be a term of endearment. I feel the same way about women who call each other bitches and think it’s cute. It’s not. Taking “ownership” of a derogatory term is not empowering. It’s downright ignorant.

    Unsurprisingly, a wide range of opinion.