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Canada: The Country of Crap I Don’t Need

This election, I’m voting for tax cuts. Why the heck shouldn’t I? I deserve a break. I don’t need most of what our government spends money on anyway.

Take publicly-funded health care, for example. I don’t need it. I’m perfectly healthy and I’m planning on staying that way. By the time I get old and sick I’ll be rich and I’ll just go down to a clinic in the States.

I’m young enough to be healthy but I’m old enough to be out of school. And that’s why I say screw publicly-funded education. I graduated years ago.

The list of crap I don’t need goes on and on. Same-sex marriage? I’m straight. National child-care program? I don’t have kids. Compensation for abuse in native schools? I’m white. Investments in public transit? I work at home. More money for seniors? See above.

What matters to me is tax cuts. Not the environment, because let’s face it, as long as I have clean water to take a shit in, there’s nothing wrong with the environment. Not roads, because as I already pointed out, I work at home – besides, if I ever need to commute, I’ll get an SUV with 4 wheel-drive that can handle the terrain.

Tax cuts. Tax cuts, because I am sick and tired of funding the miserable citizens of this backwater American province. You’re a single mom? Maybe you should have thought about how I was going to vote this election before you went and impregnated yourself.

This is payback for when you showed up at the supermarket with your saggy breasts and your screaming child. I saw you take a cab when you left with your bags of Kraft Dinner and that told me right then that money spent on public transit is wasted money, because you don’t even use it.

Is it possible for me to entirely base my vote on tax cuts? Of course it is. And that’s why this election, it’s time to stand up for me.

25 Responses to “Canada: The Country of Crap I Don’t Need”
  1. black-eyed-junco:

    very nice entry there friend. u sure u’r as uncompassionate and inconsiderate as u’ve portrayed? never! i can’t believe it!

    in many ways, i couldn’t care less who wins. after all – any candidate will still be a slave to the global race: ‘the New World Order’. politics will still contain the same old bullshit: empty promises, vicious backstabbing, hierarchical values, competitive persuasion…

    not being too pessimistic – I’m voting NDP – all the way!!! while i’d like to see the greens move forward, i’ll bank my ballot on sweeping the nation with a NDP majority!

    YEE HAW! let’s do it! NDP!

    * and as far as u go mister ‘tax cuts’, step out of the freezer, let some love flow through ur veins and get urself together! u do care about the wellbeing of ur community, and u know it!

    c:


  2. “You’re a single mom? Maybe you should have thought about how I was going to vote this election before you went and impregnated yourself.”

    I laughed out loud reading this line.

    Of course, this election isn’t primarily about tax cuts. It’s about people being sick and tired of the Liberals (despite over a decade of continuous economic growth, ahem), the Conservatives suddenly not sounding so scary (thanks to a highly disciplined communications policy, to wit, CPC candidates aren’t allowed to open their mouths), and the NDP, as usual, not being able to get a word in edgewise.

  3. alevo:

    Is this what runs through your mind on a daily basis Ade? Combine this with the racially motivated voice-over that you described having in an earlier post, and I would conclude that your mind is a scary place to visit. I kid everyone – Ade is not really a bigot, nor an elitist merchant of doom. But i have to question where you’re headed with these comments.

    I hope you’re not chastising Canadian voters who choose to vote blue. Further, I hope you’re not insinuating that Canadians are generally self-indulgent if they choose to appreciate tax-cuts. If you are, you would be joining the lowest ranks of the election commentarati, notwithstanding your frustration with the prospect of a Tory Prime Minister.

    Last night, CTV news hyped an investigative piece that concluded many Canadians could not recognize pictures of the four front-running federal candidates. I couldn’t help but groan. I begged Claire to change the channel. Did they really expect to run a story that said “Canadian voters correctly identify federal party leaders”? Of course not. The whole thing wreaked inauthentic. It is the predictable prelude to an otherwise unpredictable electoral campaign. In the week running up to this election, all manner of pudits are emerging (as they do at the same time every election) to demonstrate how daftly uninformed the Canadian voting public really is – or to flag for our attention, how little we really care about electoral politics, electoral issues, or elected politicians.

    If your entry here is intended to contribute to this stream of thought, I would suggest you redeem yourself. If it is a thinnly veiled attack on Harper’s support base – a rebuke of the “fend for yourself Canada” – I still think you are on dangerous ground.

    Or maybe (after re-reading this) I am too fucking serious for this blog anymore. Seriously folks, I have a big election, and it throbs like hell.

  4. Ade:

    As there seems to be some confusion about the intent of my original post (which is a sad commentary on my abilities as a writer, I must admit), I have added a new category to the blog: satire. If you aren’t sure if I’m serious, please check the category at the top.

  5. Ade:

    Alevo: here I go with my redemption. But first, go take some aspirin.

    When I sat down in front of my computer this morning, I started writing – in sincerity – about how I vote on the behalf of other people. It’s true that I’m white, middle-class, self-employed, young, healthy, childless and educated. I have access to clean water and reasonably clean air. Things get tight sometimes but by-and-large the bills get paid on time (thanks wemi) and I’ve never received social assistance from the government.

    But when I vote, I vote with others in mind. And I don’t just vote for Canadians, I also vote keeping in mind the people overseas that might be affected by my vote. I vote knowing that the next country the US invades might be Iran, and that depending on who I vote for, my country may or may not be culpable for the deaths of innocents there, or whereever else.

    Perhaps this would have turned out to be a sincere and thoughtful post. Maybe it would have had more impact on readers than the one I ended up writing. But this blog is at least as much about expression as it is about discussion. And I’m angry. In an email to a friend today I wrote:

    I feel as though the “left”, if it’s useful to call them that, have failed my country. Worse, I feel as though I have failed my country.

    Yes, my post is “a rebuke of the ‘fend for yourself Canada'”. I know that most Canadians vote with the best interests of their fellow citizens in mind. But I also think that many Canadians who vote Conservative are voting in a group of people whose interests are narrow and self-directed, whether they are social/religious or economic, regardless of their intentions when voting. Narrow and self-directed, just like “my thoughts” expressed in my original post.

    Sure, my post is a cheap shot – no, I’m not taking the high road – yes, thoughtful, serious posts are more productive. Who cares at this point. Barring a miracle, what I believe is best for Canada is a lost cause for now. If that isn’t a good enough reason for some saracastic bitching, what is?

  6. alevo:

    I understood your writing as satire Ade, and it was funny. It catalyzed discussion, so, good work.

  7. Ade:

    No, you made some good points. I value your willingness to tell me I’m wrong (and I know you knew I was satirical, it’s black-eyed-junco up there I’m concerned about).

    My morning’s fiery temperament has given way to a more gloomy sentiment. It was satire but it wasn’t a joke, and it doesn’t contribute to anything.

    My attitude might be untenable: it’s elitist to say that Canadians don’t know what they’re voting for – how do I know? It’s hypocritical to want Canadians to engage in democracy, and then get irritated when they do (if they are) and sweep people who I disagree with into power.

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who is watching this unfold with dismay. Time to do a little soul-searching I guess.

  8. Tim:

    But I also think that many Canadians who vote Liberal are voting in a group of people whose interests are narrow and self-directed, whether they are social/religious or economic, regardless of their intentions when voting.

    But I also think that many Canadians who vote NDP are voting in a group of people whose interests are narrow and self-directed, whether they are social/religious or economic, regardless of their intentions when voting.

    But I also think that many Canadians who vote Bloc…


  9. Tim,

    Am I to assume, then, that you don’t believe in electoral politics?

  10. Sebastian:

    Having come to Canada more than 20 years ago with my parents, a suitcase and $200, I have learned the importance of self motivated ambition. Relying on someone else for my sustainability is not an idea I’d ever like to entertain.

    Canada, has made it much too easy for people to be lazy and rely on others for handouts. I understand that social responsibility is necessary to help those that are truly in need but not to the extent that these services are being delivered to every lazy Tom, Dick and Harry.

    I want to keep what I’ve earned and have the opportunity to decide what’s best for my family and how I want to contribute to those less fortunate.

    Education: let me decide if my money should be spent in private or public schools
    Healthcare: let me decided if I want to spend my money on public or private healthcare.
    Transportation: give me more choices to use toll roads or self sustaining transit (why should everyone have to pay for major highways and Transit when not everyone use them) Check your municipal tax bill and see how much of your property tax goes to cover the transportation infrastructure.
    Culture&Rec: Let me choose if I want to support my local ice rink, pool or tennis court. Why should I have to subsidise my neighbours kids hockey?

    People in this country are too reliant on the handouts of others. This has created a society of “needies” that feel that it’s their right to be catered to.

    The fundamental purpose of government is to establish and enforce laws. How did they ever get the power to run my life and tell me how to balance my chequebook?

  11. alevo:

    Sebastien,

    When you write “I understand that social responsibility is necessary to help those that are truly in need but not to the extent that these services are being delivered to every lazy Tom, Dick and Harry.”

    What services are you speaking of? You go on to mention, education, transportation, health care, and culture & recreation. Are these the services that you think spoil lazy Canadians?

    Should poor people get together and fund their own bus system, rather than relying on hand-outs from the municipal government?

    Too often, fervor-injected rants against the welfare State like your own fail to reflect on any reality but the bubble of author’s own head. Give us some examples from real life.

  12. Tim:

    Ryan, I absolutely believe in electoral politics. I just don’t believe in being cynical about it.

  13. Sebastian:

    Alevo,

    The services I mention are all essential and need to be provided to everyone, but, I should have a choice to decide if I want to contribute via Taxes or pay for these services independently. I recognize that my thinking is elitist but, I believe that public vs. private rivalry introduces a level of competition that is necessary to stimulate growth and change. Ultimately everyone benefit from this.

    As for the lazy Canadians; I work in downtown Hamilton and often venture for brisk walks through the core during my lunch breaks. It is interesting how many able bodied individuals can be observed regularly doing nothing and collecting welfare for doing nothing.

    There is a high school aged kid outside my office that frequently begs for money. I asked him one day why he does this? His answer, “I can make about $20 in an hour by begging and that’s how much money I need to get through the day. If I went to work, it would take much longer to get my $20 and I would only get paid every couple of weeks”

    Coming from a poor immigrant background, I have had the opportunity to observe the epidemic abuse of the welfare by lazy Canadians and lazy Canadian wana-be’s. It is from this setting where my viewpoint originates. I’ve seen the welfareites who can afford luxury vacations, expensive furnishings and big screen TV’s. Everything in their apartments is on wheels so that it can be easily rolled to the next door neighbours place when the social assistance investigator rings their intercom. That’s when they pull out the plastic bottle crates that they use as a table and chairs.

  14. alevo:

    Sebastian –

    Elitist indeed.

    All poor people are the same – they all collect welfare for the wrong reasons – economic competition would help make everything better – everyone has job waiting for them, but they’re too lazy to get one – socialization has nothing to do with people’s circumstances – tough love.

  15. wemi:

    I work in social services and I see the struggles people face everyday. Sebastian, I don’t think you have any idea how hard it is to live on welfare. There are so many barriers that exist in the system that prevent people from living independently.

    There is a very small percentage of people “using” the system. I believe that two years ago the percentage was actually 1%. A single person receiving welfare gets $536 a month. How can anyone afford to pay rent, pay bills and feed themselves with that amount of money?

    When you receive Ontario Works (Harris’ euphemism for welfare), you are required to work, volunteer or enter a work training program. You cannot receive Ontario Works unless you do. If you earn more than the legislated amount OW takes it off your cheque to insure that you do not receive more.

    As a society I think we are responsible to help those in need. I am sure when you came into the country as an immigrant you and your family received help from somewhere. Perhaps this helped you become successful now? We should be thankful we can help people in need instead of judging and criticizing them.


  16. Sebastien wrote, “I should have a choice to decide if I want to contribute via Taxes or pay for these services independently.”

    Guess what: “elitists” like you benefit directly and materially from living in a society that educates everyone, provides everyone with access to health care, and provides the infrastructure on which you can travel. Countries that don’t provide these things publicly and universally quickly degenerate into third world countries with a small overclass of the very rich that spends considerable amounts of its wealth protecting itself from the large underclass of the very poor.

    Argentina went from a prosperous, middle class country in the 1980s to a desperate, third world country in 2000 thanks to a decade of privatization and deregulation, IMF-style. America is also lurching toward third world status, with some of the most appalling statistics for education and public health in the industrialized world, and also a distribution of wealth normally found only in third world dictatorships.

    You, “elitist” though you may be, benefit from a stable, safe society of gainfully employed citizens, from having access to well-educated, dedicated employees for your companies; higher productivity due to better overall health, fewer sick days, and faster recovery times; a stronger economy with a larger share of its wealth available for discretionary spending (America’s health care system is 15% of its GDP, compared to about 9% in Canada); and a bigger pool of potential workers and idea generators, since poverty isn’t as much of a barrier to education.

    The World Economic Forum publishes The Global Competitiveness Report every year, ranking 117 countries for economic competitiveness. In the 2006-05 report, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland, and Norway are all in the top ten (Finland is #1) – all “northern European social welfare states” (to borrow a phrase from Stephen Harper) with high levels of public spending and comprehensive public services.

    Because they also have excellent public education, robust and transparent corporate governance, and low labour health care costs, these countries attract investments and provide well-paying jobs. Unemployment is quite low, despite your claim that social services make people “lazy”.

    Toyota recently chose to open a factory in Ontario, even though several US states had offered huge cash bribes. Toyota picked Ontario because workers coming through Ontario’s education system are much better educated and learn the job more quickly than their American counterparts, and because the costs of employer-provided health care is so much lower in Canada.

    So even if you don’t give a hoot about other people and their problems, you have a vested, selfish interest in ensuring that their problems don’t become your problems. The cheapest, most effective, and most constructive way to do this is to invest a bit of money into ensuring that a lot of those problems simply don’t happen in the first place.

  17. alevo:

    Right on the nose Ryan. My biggest problem with arguments like Sebastian’s is that they seem to rest on the assumption that their own pursuit of wealth occured in a vacuum; that the successes they have managed to achieve thus far in life have nothing to do with the social welfare and egalitarian thinking that they now feel they are in a position to criticize.

  18. Sebastian:

    For clarification, I know that we as a society need to provide assistance to the less fortunate. It’s a given. But, we cannot continue encouraging a culture of handouts. If you’re an able bodied individual in good health, living in Canada, there is no excuse for you to be on life long welfare.

    I had a very uplifting experience yesterday. A group of us went out to a local restaurant for a bite after work. One of our servers was a gentleman with Down Syndrome, someone who in my opinion is more than deserving of social assistance. Regardless of his disability, he has chosen to work and be a contributing member to our society.

    This country needs an attitude change and must start to address the root of poverty which starts at the individual. By providing guidance and leadership to these individuals, we can empower them to succeed on their own. They need to discover the sense of ownership and responsibility and through small steps they can unearth the steps to success and a better life.

    Today’s strategy of throwing money at the broad problem just makes the problem go away…. Temporarily.


  19. Sebastian,

    I’m calling you on your presumption, “the root of poverty … starts at the individual.” From everything I’ve experienced, observed, and learned from study, the root of poverty is growing up poor.

    There’s an overwhelmingly direct positive correlation between growing up poor and being a poor adult, with very strong, plausible causal correlations between the physical, nutritional, social, and emotional environment created by poverty and the missing cultural capital, closed doors, lack of social and economic connections and opportunities, prejudgements and fatalistic dismissals, and ultimately despair that makes its perpetuation all but inevitable.

    Another major problem, of course, is the official government policy that some people’s labour just isn’t worth anything. The Bank of Canada’s policy is to maintain price stability (inflation in the 0-3% range) at all costs; our trade policy encourages businesses to locate manufacturing where labour is cheapest, i.e. in the Southern US and Mexico; the minimum wage is not enough to live on, which defeats the purpose of a minimum wage; welfare provides even less money than minimum wage (despite your hyperbolic assertions to the contrary – look it up instead of falling back on your stereotypes) and actively discourages education and retraining; and the lousy $100/month that the Conservatives propose in lieu of an early childhood education/child care program isn’t anywhere near enough to pay for even third-rate child care (read: movies in the neighbour’s basement and hot dogs for lunch), let alone the kind of high-quality care that has been proven in many European countries (see the WEF study I cited earlier) to give poor children exactly the opportunities and potential that you believe they aren’t exploiting.

    Canada only looks like it needs an “attitude change” toward more rugged individualism (ahem) compared to the collapsing third world banana republic to our south.

  20. Sebastian:

    Ryan,
    This is where your views and research and my life experience differ. I came from a very poor background. In 1981 my parents and I started a new life in Canada with $200, a suitcase with cloths and no social assistance. The day after we arrived in Canada, I was in school and a week later, my parents secured a job as Superintendents of an apartment building.

    We started at ground zero with nothing, no language, no money, no social assistance. A rather grim scenario. It took about 10 years of small incremental successes to catch up to the Canadian middleclass. That’s why in my opinion, most Canadians who are poor, have made a life choice to be poor.

  21. alevo:

    I was sick last month, and I got better. That’s why in my opinion, most Canadians who are sick, have made a life choice to be sick.

    Give your head a shake. Like in a paint mixer.

  22. alevo:

    I should follow that up, because it was a bit of a cop-out response.

    Poverty is not a choice. There are broader systemic barriers expereinced by many Canadians, that have nothing to do with a “culture of laziness.” There is no research anywhere on the planet that would connect, broadly speaking, life opportunities and the incidence of poverty to the modest (if inconsequential) contributions of a local welfare cheque. Class matters regardless of government “hand-outs.” Your “opinion” is founded so heavy on stereotypical assumptions of what opportunities “the poor” have at their disposal, that you don’t – not even once – try to include the role of class society in constructing people’s life opportunities. You string together some anecdotal accounts of your poorest neighbors, some beggar, and a handicapped waiter, et voila – welfare breeds laziness. The root cause of poverty is not a culture of laziness – it’s a misunderstanding of poverty – something you are contributing to a great deal. Good job.

    If your opinion is valid, then let me throw my own similar logic on the table. You know what I think Sebastian? I think the middleclass is lazy because they are not rich. Anyone who is not rich in Canada has chosen to be “not rich.” What gives? I blame the north pole.

  23. Elita McAdam:

    Well I guess you told the world did’nt you… just how non-human you are.
    Let’s hope you keep your dick in your pants for the rest of your life, so as not to create any un-wanted children because you my friend would be a prime candidate for “dead beat parent” catagory.
    You certainly are angry, better watch that, you may get an ulser and have to go to a doctor you can’t afford, seeing’s how you stated you don’t have to worry about health care untill your old and by then… rich.
    When I had my children I did not know that the father would become an addict and leave us stranded, no more than a person can perdict if and when they may or may not get cancer. He was educated, worked hard, etc. I supose we should all be psychic in your world.
    By the sounds of it with all your whinning you can relate to that screaming child in the grocery store, and to come to the grand, Einstein conclusion that just because a mom takes a cab we don’t need public transit! wow where were you educated? at the school of white supremacy? and me, me, me.
    Your just pissed because the single mom in the store took a cab instead of your offer of a ride, due to the fact she could see right through you, your angrey, vile and down right stupid, you try and rant and rave with justification but all your doing is showing why people like you were born in the wrong era, you should have been around along with Hitler and been his right hand man. A word of caution, you can expect to live the rest of your life either alone, or with a dim wit… (on par with you)due to the magnetism you exude in all facets of your life.

  24. Anonymous:

    hi there
    ifeel theres to much money taken out of working peoples pockets for lazy
    people that dont know what it is to swing an axe or pic or shovel or do any real work most of the lazy s.o.bs cant seem to find anything to do that has real work to it so they can earn a real wage to busy driving a bus or nagging some person by phone………..just to lazy to really work and earn a decent dollar,,,,, thanks.good luck



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