Welcome to the Future

I was killing time and flipped on CNN for want of anything better to watch. “Welcome to the Future” said the CNN headline. “Lydia’s wish: escaping traffic”.

“I get up between 4:45 and 5:00 every day,” complained Lydia, “I have to be at work at 7:15 and I often find myself dashing across the parking lot to make it.”

“Time is such a valuable thing,” she continued as backdrops of congested highways flashed behind her. “I spend 3 hours of my life a day in my car and that’s a huge amount of my life wasted.”

Amazing, I thought. CNN was about to examine Raise the Hammer’s favourite issues: urban sprawl, inefficient [tag]public transportation[/tag], and society’s addiction to cars. Cue Miles O’Brien:

It is really painful when you add up all the time we spend in our cars, grinding our teeth as we drive our way through traffic. But what if we could commute through the wild blue yonder, breezing past the gridlock below?

Say what, Miles? Did you say “wild blue yonder”? Yes indeed: CNN’s featured solution to traffic congestion is the Air Scooter, your very own personal helicopter.

“Due to hit the market later this year with a price tag of fifty thousand dollars,” O’brien intones, “[it’s inventor] says the [tag]Air Scooter[/tag] could make rush hours a thing of the past.”

Welcome to the future: where rich people soar above the traffic below, occasionally descending in their noisy craft into specially marked parking spaces whose signage you ignore at the risk of stiff fines or decapitation, only to rise again above the masses like petrol-sucking dragonflies, designer label bags in tow. Someone ought to give this company a subsidy!

You can watch the clip yourself, but don’t blame me for CNN’s appalling website, which is likely to bombard you with popups.