Canada’s Favourite Reality Show Returns

After a short stint off the headlines, Karla’s back and she’s bigger than ever, baby. A quick recap: she got hired by a guy named Richer LaPointe to work in his hardware store. He claims to be a citizen with a strong sense of public duty who wanted to help Karla integrate with society. This apparently entailed secretly taping conversations with Karla and then going to the media, exposing her whereabouts and accusing her of violating her release conditions. This “half-wit opportunist” (thanks alevo) is currently facing charges of his own (unrelated to Karla) that include sexual assault and breaking and entering, which you would think would diminish his credibility somewhat. But not enough, apparently, to put a damper on the latest spasm of Homolkamania: it’s everywhere. Canada & Karla: Season 2 of our favourite reality show is back and in prime-time.

In the United States, criminals like Karla stay firmly behind bars, often for sentences so long they are ludicrous (like 175 years, for example). Here in Canada, where “life in prison” actually means “15-25 years in prison”, we seem intent on seeing what happens when we have to learn to live with them. It’s like a version of Growing Up Gotti where they let John Gotti out of prison just so they can film the show. “Honey, I’m going out to whack somebody, back later.” “Okay dear, don’t be late for dinner!” [Cue laugh track.]

Canada’s justice system, adept at catching your more run-of-the-mill offenders, just doesn’t seem to know what to do with the really big cases. Liana White is found dead and her husband Michael is swiftly charged with her murder. Twenty, thirty, forty sex trade workers go missing in Vancouver and police are like, “huh? what serial killer?”. Or take the Air India case, where terrorists blew up a flight from Canada in 1985, killing 329 people. Twenty years later, still no successful prosecution of anybody.

Live in an American red state and if someone murders your loved one, you get to watch them fry. Live in Canada, your best bet for revenge are prank calls:

Two popular Quebec radio hosts have interviewed Karla Homolka and her lawyer Sylvie Bordelais in a remarkable prank phone call to be aired today.

CKOI hosts Sebastien Trudel, 24, and Marc-Antoine Audet, 25 — known to their listeners as the “Masked Avengers” — called Bordelais yesterday posing as Quebec’s justice minister and his assistant.

What a gas!

Even our friends over at whereiskarla.com seem a little bewildered:

Karla is in the Montreal general area. Please contact your local authorities for more detailed information. We did not post our updates during the media frenzy. We do not wish to participate in a media style of glamorizing Karla.

“INFORMING THE PUBLIC” claims their website in big bold letters. “Karla is in the Montreal general area.” Fantastic job, guys. Thanks to you, there’s an easy way for us all to stay safe: avoid Montreal. And its general area.