The body of Liana White, the Edmonton woman who was four months pregnant when she disappeared, was found on Sunday. She went missing five days prior to the discovery. Her husband, Michael White, who had tearfully appeared on television to appeal for her return has now been charged with one count of second-degree murder and one count of committing an indignity to a dead body. Who knows what this human scum did to her to get that second charge, for now, police aren’t saying (forgive me for assuming his guilt throughout the rest of this piece, I know he is the “alleged” murderer and all, but I’m not going to be bound by journalistic convention for this one).
In an article entitled Dramatic story line all too familiar, the Globe and Mail decries the “modern story line that seems to play out again and again”:
A husband or wife turns to the media in an outpouring of anguish about a loved one who has disappeared — only to be accused later of killing that missing spouse.
It’s odd, but that’s not quite the story line I’m familiar with. The one I’m familiar with goes like this:
A husband turns to the media in an outpouring of anguish about his wife, who has disappeared — only to be accused later of killing her.
Let’s face it: we have a serious problem in our society. That problem is called woman abuse, abuse that all too frequently escalates into murder. We sidestep the issue by calling it “domestic violence”, a clever way of turning it into a problem with families. It’s not a problem with families, it’s a problem, by and large, with abusive men.
According to a recent survey by Statistics Canada, “seven per cent of women and six per cent of men end up abused by their current or former partners”. To all those men who cower in fear at the very sight of their domineering, violently abusive wives, allow me to apologize in advance for saying: bullshit. I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a man who works with abusive men. Two things stick out in my mind: he said that when he deals with these men, “it’s never their fault”, and he described one conversation where the guy said “well, she hit me first” to which he responded, “yeah, but you hit her back, and look at the size of you.”
Maybe you are a victim of abuse when your wife slaps you and you punch her in the face so hard you knock her unconscious. I do realize and recognize that there are some situations – there are always exceptions – where a man may be well and truly abused by his wife. But anecdotally, from what I’ve read and from all my conversations with social workers, I just don’t think that’s the big problem here.
As much as I cast doubt on the main conclusion of the Statistics Canada survey, the rest of it seems to bear that out, as the article I linked to affirms: “The data collected show the nature and consequences of spousal violence were more severe for women than for men.” It goes on to say:
Female victims of spousal violence were more than twice as likely to be injured as male victims.
Women were also three times more likely to fear for their life, and twice as likely to be the targets of more than 10 violent episodes.
And, overall, female victims were twice as likely as male victims to be stalked by a previous spouse. Eleven per cent of female victims and six per cent of male victims reported being stalked by a previous boyfriend or girlfriend.
The link between abuse and murder is clear: 58 percent of “spousal homicides”, as this report on the Canadian Department of Justice website calls them, “followed a history of reported domestic violence between victims and offenders”. This same report, which analyzes the murder rates between partners, says that:
Women were the victims in more than three-quarters of the 2,600 spousal homicides recorded in Canada between 1974 and 2000.
So men accounted for one-quarter of the victims during this period, which is hardly something I ought to dismiss. Except that “men were much more likely than women to initiate the violent incidents that resulted in men’s deaths”. In other words, it’s much more likely that the man dies as a result of something he started than the other way around.
All too familiar, indeed.