Violence Against Women

Originally written Tuesday, November 23, 2004

“Why don’t you post this on your blob?”, Casie’s email said. I chuckled. Evidently my posts were not quite as clear as I thought, if they gave the impression of a messy glutinous ball.

I stopped laughing to myself as I kept reading. The contents of the email attachment she sent me were appalling: a list of women murdered by intimate partners in the last year, along with the circumstances of their deaths.

Here are a few from the list:

Natalie Bobeika, 46. Mother of one child. Natalie was stabbed to death in front of her 13-year-old son, who called police. She had been divorced from her husband for two years and was studying accounting in hopes of getting a job to support herself and her son. She had no relatives in Canada after coming from Russia; her son was placed in the care of friends. Her estranged husband, Iouri Bobeika, was charged with second-degree murder.

Henny Ann McAlpine, 48. Toronto. Henny Ann was found stabbed to death on the lawn of her apartment building and was pronounced dead at hospital. Her husband was found dead 30 minutes later after witnesses said he “hurled himself” into traffic and was struck by a car. Police determined that the deaths were a murder-suicide. Neighbours described the couple as “incredibly loving” and “nice people” but also said they didn’t talk to their neighbours and were “together all the time”.

Susan Kilby, 39. St. Catharines. Mother of two children. Susan was found in the home of her estranged husband with her skull smashed in by blunt force trauma. She had been separated from her ex-husband for over a year and had gone to the house to pick up her children from an access visit. A phone call was placed to 911 and the dispatcher listened to sounds of an argument while sending police. By the time police arrived, however, Susan was dead. The children were nearby when the murdered occurred but police were not sure if they were witnesses to the murder. Patrick Kilby was charged with first-degree murder. Only a few weeks before the murder, community protests arose over a T-shirt being sold locally with the words “She was asking for it” accompanied by a picture of a hammer. Supporters of the T-shirt characterized it as a “joke” and one scoffed at the protests telling media that no one would really smash someone’s head with a hammer.

Because Casie works in a women’s shelter, and because I’m married to her (happily, by the way), I often hear about the abuse inflicted on so many women in our society. These short paragraphs tell the tragic story of murders. They do not tell the stories of the brutal emotional, physical and sexual abuse inflicted on women and children every day.

Murder, as the most extreme outcome of violence, is the tip of the iceberg – the number of murders reveals the mass of the violence that lies underneath, just as the size of the ice above the water indicates what lurks beneath the surface. Here, the numbers reveal a disturbing picture.

A remarkable study undertaken in 2001 by the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showed that murder by an intimate partner is the leading cause of death among pregnant women. Among the statistics quoted in this article is this one:

“A recent report on female homicide in New York City between 1990 and 1997 revealed that among the 54% of cases that could be categorized according to intimate partner perpetrator status, approximately 40% of the victimes were killed by intimate partners.”

Even worse is the low priority this epidemic of violence is given by the justice system, the government and our society. Take the story of Wyann Ruso, the Toronto woman who warned police about her abusive husband and received an assurance from them that he would be arrested immediately. Instead, they did nothing – that is, until 9/11 was called when her husband attacked her with an axe and a hammer. He is now charged with attempted murder. She survived the attack, but many others do not.

As a society, we classify crimes not just in terms of their severity, but also according to other circumstantial factors like the state of mind of the perpetrator. First-degree murder is the most serious of all murder charges because it is a premeditated act. If premeditation makes murder more serious, how much more seriously should violence against women and children be taken? After all, men do not only have a responsibility to protect and care for their families, but if they are married, they have taken an oath to do so. Their crime is not just one of violence, it is one of betrayal.

More statistics:

* One in four (1/4) women in Canada is sexually or physically abused by a partner.

* Forty percent (40%) of women who turn up in emergency departments of hospitals are there because of abuse.

* Fifty percent (50%) of women admitted to psychiatric hospitals/units are victims of violence.

* Seventy five percent (75%) of children in homes where women are abused are also abused.

This is not just a terrible onslaught against women and children. This is an assault on our society, our communities, against decency, justice and humanity.