Faithful Slumber

Fidelity is important in any relationship and especially important in intimate relationships. But there’s one kind of cheating that doesn’t count.

When you fall asleep at night and begin to dream, all previous commitments are off. The most faithful person can be flagrantly promiscuous all night long and still wake up with a crystal-clear conscience.

My partner will wake up some mornings with a satisfied sigh and a little smirk on her face. Thankfully, she usually spares me the details, but when I get the goods, it’s like peeking into an Academy Awards afterparty.

I won’t name any names, but if you’re not A-list material, you’re not getting past the velvet rope in her brain.

The reason I’m talking about her nocturnal conquests instead of my own is because I never get to have any. When I meet a beautiful woman in a dream it typically takes just moments before I announce I’m married and that if she’s looking for some action, she’s in the wrong head.

Unlike Pinocchio, I have never wished my conscience would disappear. I just wish it would go to sleep instead of chirping at me all damn night.

Last night’s dream was different.

I found myself in a Shopper’s Drug Mart, filling up a small basket with various items. When I had everything I needed, I walked over to the counter to pay. The cashier was gorgeous.

We exchanged some idle chit-chat as she rang through my purchases. Then I made my move.

“I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner tonight, after work.”

“I don’t get off work until 7:30,” she replied.

“That’s alright, I don’t mind eating late – ”

” – and I have to work really early tomorrow morning.”

There was an awkward pause. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘no’,” I said.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “That’ll be $26.03.”

If it wasn’t for real life, I think I’d be really depressed.

[tags]humour, dreams[/tags]